Finally! A Vampire’s Guide to Disneyland!

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There are some of us who have very special needs – needs most ignore, or even call illusory. I am speaking, of course, of those of us with supernatural needs: vampires, merfolk, ghosts, et al. There is one place, however, which has not forgotten us. I speak, of course, of Disneyland.

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For a long time, the supernatural races have been stereotyped. Vampires were all thought to be minor eastern European royalty, independently wealthy, with little desire to leave castle grounds. Werewolves were portrayed as animals who wanted nothing more than romps in the woods.

But in the last few decades, the truth has started to come out. Vampires aren’t all rich; many are working stiffs making a living managing circuses or hosting websites and television shows. Werewolves are now known to be radio show hosts, exotic dancers, and even archaeology professors.

Which means, like Ahh-nold, they sometimes need a vacation.

And they want to go to Disneyland.

Certainly many have written guides to the Disney parks and resorts. But although there are any number of extremely thorough guidebooks for other special groups – for families with small children, for honeymooners, or for senior citizens – until recently there has not been a guide for those with supernatural needs.

But now, there is a guidebook – “Disneyland for Vampires, Zombies, and Others With Very Special Needs” by Dominick Cancilla – that answers the crucial questions that keep some of us from enjoying the famous Disney hospitality. What kind of questions? Well, as a vampire, I always wonder whether I should take my own coffin when I travel. According to the guide, I should probably consider alternatives to avoid invasive questions and odd looks. The author wisely suggests a large trunk, or a collapsible travel coffin. Similarly, the author makes sure zombies are aware there is no place in Disneyland to purchase brains – but (and this is where this book is invaluable) suggests that chimichangas are an acceptable substitute.

The guide also has advice for avoiding serious problems. Persons resembling animals or Muppets, for example, are advised to wear a disguise so as to avoid entanglements with park security – or even worse, with the park’s legal department. I shudder to think how that might turn out!

In addition to solving supernatural problems, the guide has suggestions for special supernatural fun. Fallen angels are advised to collect character autographs – on soul contracts. Medusae are advised to get a character beauty makeover at the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique. As the author notes, “It takes a while, but the sight of all those little snakes with lipstick and mascara is worth it.”

In addition to the author’s carefully chosen tips and cautions, the guide contains numerous letters from celebrity supernaturals. The angel Gabriel provides advice for winged creatures. (Note that the warning letter from Abraham van Helsing has been dealt with and may be disregarded. Whew!)

The only concern I have is the guide’s apparent double standard in dealing with special powers. Jedi and Sith are urged to use the Force to see inside “blind boxes” of pins and collectibles, but persons with X-ray vision are told that using their powers to do the same is unfair. I hope this bias is unintentional and will be eliminated in future editions.

I highly recommend this book and its companion guidebook to Walt Disney World without reservation for all ages 10 and above. Five stars.


A D V E R T I S E M E N T
FOR DISNEYLAND TRAVELERS:


If your library consists of actual, physical books – you know, hardbacks and paperbacks – you’ll want to order “Disneyland for Vampires, Zombies, and Others with Very Special Needs” by author Dominick Cancilla in book form from Amazon.com. Your “Fastpass to Fear” is available in paperback from Theme Park Press. 200 pages. – Candy

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Disneyland kindle edition

If you keep your library on a Kindle – so you can read anything in your library anywhere, anytime – you’ll want to order digital download of “Disneyland for Vampires, Zombies, and Others with VERY Special Needs” (Kindle Edition) by author Dominick Cancilla from Amazon Kindle. Sorry, this title is not eligible for Kindle Unlimited. Published on September 4, 2017, by Theme Park Press. – Candy

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FOR WALT DISNEY WORLD TRAVELERS:

If your library consists of actual, physical books – you know, hardbacks and paperbacks – you’ll want to order “Walt Disney World for Vampires, Zombies, and Others with VERY Special Needs” by author Dominick Cancilla in book form from Amazon.com. Paperback; 214 pages; Published May 10, 2017, by Theme Park Press. – Candy

Amazon Book buy button

 

 

Walt Disney World Kindle Edition

If you keep your library on a Kindle – so you can read anything in your library anywhere, anytime – you’ll want to order a digital download of “Walt Disney World for Vampires, Zombies, and Others with VERY Special Needs (Kindle Edition) by author Dominick Cancilla from Amazon Kindle. Sorry, this title is not eligible for Kindle Unlimited. Published May 9, 2017 by Theme Park Press. 214 pages. – Candy

Amazon Kindle Book buy button

 

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